Do you ever feel like you’re running around for the largest parts of your life? Always driven to do more, be more, achieve more? Do you get triggered by what others say, trying to figure out what it is that they want, and how you could best give them exactly that, so that you’re safe?
These were some of the drivers that brought me to a wonderful healing and nourishing place last month. As I described in my last newsletter, I could feel the darkness of the year here in the Southern hemisphere, and for a while I had been in a place that I can describe best as “the eye of the needle“, sensing that some of the old stuff didn’t suit me anymore, that something new wanted to come alive. That sense of squeezing through a tight spot isn’t really a comfortable thing. Yet it is immensely valuable. It is evolution happening, and I am truly appreciating these times of transformation.
My discomfort led me to ask a group of 8 women based all over the globe to hold space for me for an entire week, so that I could go through the emotional healing processes necessary to transform old beliefs about myself and the world, healing emotions (unexpressed feelings from the past), and to have more of my adult ego state available to create from going forward.
Already receiving the Yes’ to my request for spaceholders was amazing. Not only did these women say yes, they also from the start questioned my intentions for the week. It became clear very quickly that this week would be mostly about acceptance: accepting the process and allowing whatever needs to come up to come up.
During that week, I felt held in the centre of an honest, kind, caring space. I had witnessed yet not experienced a women’s “lifting” before, where a woman gets physically lifted by other women holding each other by their hands. Energetically, that’s what I experienced. I felt lifted.
I went through emotional healing processes, to places of my past I thought I had forgotten about. I went on an energetic journey and met my archetypal lineage. I went for a medicine walk in nature. I explored who I am. I had times for integration.
I came out the other end feeling more spacious. It is a curious thing because I also get the image of having nourished a delicate plant in myself. So I can actually feel more of myself, my essence, my Being, having more clarity and feeling less hollow inside. Yet there is clearly this imprint of more spaciousness inside of me, too.
It is an amazing journey this life, if we allow it to take its magical turns.
With this new sense of spaciousness inside myself, I arrived in Melbourne, Australia, to co-create two weekend trainings with my friend and colleague Kiri Bear. Then Melbourne and the whole State of Victoria went into lockdown. Here is yet another possibility to stay present and connect with my spaciousness within.