Did you ever consider your knowledge could be something that holds you back or stands in your way? Yet knowledge is so very important! From when we are children, we learn to accumulate knowledge. As soon as I knew how to speak, I would brusquely reply to my parents, when they were trying to teach me something: “I already know!”
Now it is dawning on me that (seemingly) “knowing” things could be something that stands in my way. It delimits me from the experience of my environment. When I think I know, I shut myself off from that what is, and the possibility that something could be different from what I think.
I find it similarily delimiting believing to know what is going on in another person. It prevents me from perceiving that other person in all its facets. I rob myself of the possibility of getting to know that person differently than according to my imagination. After all, I thereby avoid a “true”, honestly connected encounter. (And it is unbevlievably arrogant to presume knowing what goes on in another person, adds the “headswoman” in me).
The same, then, would have to be true for myself. If I think I know who I am, isn’t that an obstacle to my self-development? Don’t I deprive myself of the possibility to newly invent myself at any given time?
When I was standing at a river not too long ago, I suddenly had the impulse to hand over my “knowledge” to this mountain river rushing past, so that it could take it with it and shake it through into its separate pieces. The thought of it relaxed me. Let’s see if it helps.
Maybe this thing about knowledge even goes so far that the person I think to know I am could totally fall apart, in the figurative sense could “die”, so that I may become the person I am deep down inside, who can newly invent herself at all times: from the point of not knowing. Just as the knowledge is shaken through in that river, falls apart and can reassemble in a totally different form .
This is a rather short post. I wonder what it does with you.