Isn’t it so interesting how we crave for connection and yet we invent all these strategies to prevent them, and to keep us isolated?
It isn’t really too surprising when looking at what isolation really is: it is a mixture of the emotions fear and sadness. Fear of not being liked, sadness of your circumstances, or something alike.
There is a part of us that is very inventive and reliable in trying to keep us „safe“. The only thing is, it invented these strategies when we were little, so that we would survive. And to be fair, it served us well and was successful: we survived.
It’s sometimes difficult to realise that what served us as children or at some earlier stages in our lives, may not serve us anymore. When we want to step into our adulthood beings and live our full potential, those old patterns don’t serve us any longer. We need to step out of survival mode into expansion mode. And guess where that leads us: directly into our fears.
I am noticing more and more how my fears block me from connecting with others as much as they block me from connecting with myself.
I guess there are two ways of dealing with that: For one, I can stay in my comfort zone and let myself stop in the face of fear. For two, I can practice. Every day countless small and bigger opportunities arise for a different way of dealing with my fear. It starts by noticing that fear is the underlying feeling. When I feel “nothing”, I have come to know that fear is the prevalent feeling. Accepting my fear is the next step, as well as surrendering to it, embracing it. And going ahead nevertheless.
I went to a training where this was part of an initiation ritual. I didn’t manage, I stopped in the face of fear. It is such an old pattern. I have gone through all sorts of stages since, from beating myself up for failing, to drowning in victim sadness because my old story of “I cannot do it” seemingly was confirmed (which isn’t really true, it’s just another old habit).
The newer approach for me is to accept that I wasn’t ready quite yet – and that I don’t need an official training space for that initiation.
So here I am noticing my fear of writing this up and publishing it to you. I honour my fear for wanting to protect me, and am going to hit the publish button all the same.
If you feel like exploring a new access to fear for yourself, please get in touch. There are several tools available to deal with mixed emotions or old habits of fear. I’m happy to support you in the process – face to face or online.