How I got adopted to a Marae

Do you know these moments, where you find yourself in a situation and you wonder how you got there? It seems so right, so in line with what you want in your life, and yet no way could you have planned it exactly like this. That is what I thought when I sat in Owheao Marae* in the centre of New Zealand’s North Island, for a ceremony where five of us non-Māori women where “adopted” Read more…

Explore

Stop rescuing. Start exploring.

I made another interesting observation lately: I am really drawn to rescuing people. I feel good when I can help others, and not just help, rescue them, really. “Rescuing” means you act for others, you try to read their mind, figuring out what they need almost before they know it themselves. I see it everywhere around, so I am not the only one with this pattern. It’s not a “bad” thing. In fact, it is Read more…

Victim stories

Every decent story needs a victim. The movie „Pretty Woman“ would hardly be any good without the female protagonist needing a knight in shining armour to rescue her, right? In fact, what good would any Hollywood movie be without a juicy victim role? Where there is a victim, there is an aggressor and a rescuer. If there was no victim, then the other two roles would vanish as well. Would this mean that a story Read more…

Patriarchy ends with YOU

In my last article I asked the question of what you do about our House on Fire. The question was just as much directed at myself. Here is another step towards the answer. Where do you find answers to such fundamental questions but within yourself? So I contemplated, I felt, I went inwards, I observed, I read, I travelled, I connected with nature, with women, and with my womb (yes I should write an article Read more…

Our house is on fire

*CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE* Greta Thunberg said it so appropriately: She wants us to panic and act as if our house was on fire. She refers to climate crisis.  Climate crisis is but the symptom of our societal issues. It’s a massive one, no doubt, and we desperately need to act if we want a future for life on this planet. What’s at the core is our societies’ paramount efforts to be out of touch with Read more…

Who do you allow to live in your body?

Would you allow someone else to live in your body? I mean literally live in your body: “Here, this is my body, you can live in it if you like. Please live in it. I’ll withdraw to the back corner while you have fun shovelling the food you like into my body. Do with my body as you please. Help yourself!” How do you reckon that would work? What would be left of you, for Read more…

Life, death, and beyond

Something really amazing became clear to me recently. I am sharing this with you not so that you could pity me. There’s nothing to pity me for. I rather invite you to check whether it resonates with you, whether you know this or something similar from your own experience. (Please be very honest with yourself.) Once again, I had ventured into one of those transformative training spaces which often are so scary for my whole Read more…

In Love

In love, there are no winners AND losers. We can both win or we can both lose, but never can one win or lose against the other. Nevertheless, we do play these games, and often. Well, I cannot speak for you, but I am convinced it’s something applicable to many people out there. I will write about myself, because that’s all I can really speak for right now. Unconsciously or consciously, I may withhold my Read more…

Why “sucking it up” sucks

In our culture, and especially the male culture, I often hear one should just “suck it up” and be cool about it.  What that essentially means is to not feel anything (apart from an acceptable level of joy), and should you dare to feel something, suck it up (man!) and keep your mouth shut. I tell you something: that sucks. Just because we refuse to feel and express our feelings doesn’t mean they’re gone. The Read more…